Well, firstly to qualify for this uniquely nude-toned passport (very much in this season!) one is required to lose, deface or have their passport stolen abroad, stranding them in a foreign destination. For the author, it was indeed regrettably the former, misplacing it between connecting flights. You also need a flight scheduled, whether its in a few hours or in a few days – whatever British embassy you are nearest to won’t issue one without a scheduled flight, otherwise it's not an emergency.
Once you’ve booked your meeting with the embassy, you then need to find the nearest photo booth and get some passport photos. The personal experience was a small woman, half my size on her tiptoes, desperately trying to get an eye level photo of me in the middle of a pharmacy. With these – and if you have one, a scan of your original passport – you must take this to your meeting and voilá! After an hour they have processed you your very own albino, emergency passport, valid for one journey before it’s taken off you at customs and shredded. A short but charming experience whereby every member of airport staff who handles it will make sympathetic comments about the kind of day you must have had.